The Future

I don't think that there are many like me. I'm a very forward-thinking individual. I tend to get focused in the future and forget about the present! But I guess I'm different because I stay up thinking about not only my future, but our society's future. I think about whether America really is in a decline. And if so, who is on the incline? China? India? Korea? All of the above? Do we care that we are declining? Are we just preoccupied with what we feel that we are entitled to receive from the government that we can't see that our own selfishness is getting in the way of the greater good for our society? I guess I just see a lot of individual aggrandizement in many Americans. They want and they want, but don't want to give back.

One of my favorite time periods in history is the Roman Empire. I read Orson Scott Card's Empire a while ago, which I found quite fascinating and I definitely recommend it. Well, anyways, I constantly think about the collapse of the Roman Empire. What were the conditions surrounding it? How do those conditions compare to current America? Card actually asserted (whether it was his opinion or not, I don't know) that the current state of America is more correlated to the transition between the Roman Republic to the Empire. I guess no matter how many parallels we can make to any of them, I still worry about the current state of America. And I wonder if America even notices or cares.

PR Stunt

So, Church, we're not going to be even at the same parties anymore. You disappoint me over and over. Even when I think that you've done something good, it turns out to be another hypocritical and self aggrandizing organization. I thought that you were better than that. I'll just have to turn my head when I see you.

On a side note, I went to church yesterday. My ward makes me want to keel over and die. My roommates and I brought M&Ms to keep ourselves entertained though. It worked. Kind of.

Legislation

I have finally decided that I like that the Church supported the non-discrimination legislation. Church, maybe if I see you at a party, I won't leave. But still, don't expect me to talk to you.

Dear Church

Dear Church,

I've been trying so hard to get along with you, but I don't think that we should see much of each other anymore. I know that you are "concerned" with my salvation, but you sure aren't doing much to make me feel happy in this life. I wish that you would leave my family and me alone. I don't like how you tell them that I can change. I can't. I don't like how you tell them that they don't need to accept me into their house. You are destroying my family by telling them how much they can hate me, not that they should love me.

So, we're over. Have a good life.

Romulus

Activism

I feel the great need to do more for gay rights, but there's only so much I can do without getting in trouble at BYU. Sigh.

My Ward

So, every week, we get an email of our ward newsletter/announcements. It pretty much looks like this. http://seriouslysoblessed.blogspot.com/

Back at BYU

So, it has been a while since I last posted. I've been through four weeks of school, and I've been really busy since I'm still working a lot. But I'll survive.

When I first got back, I was having a really tough time, not with school but just with being back at BYU. I didn't think that I would have any problems, but I found myself hating being back and wishing that I were at the U. I felt paranoid about everyone knowing about me and just uncomfortable being on that campus. I had been there many times while I was suspended, but coming back as a student was so bizarre. I've even been enjoying my classes, but just being on campus has been taking a lot out of me. But I'm doing better now. I'm pretty antisocial (which is bizarre for me), but it is working well for me. I don't participate with the ward (18 year old girls and fresh RMs, vomit), and I only stick to my established friends. I don't talk about being gay either. I'm just done with all of that for now. I don't want any more trouble.